Cat and Mina come out next and unlike Gerda's modest one piece suit, Mina and Cat are wearing tight, two-piece suits! Both women's tops are bulging almost to the point of exploding and, like Cat, Mina puts a little wiggle in her walk as the mother-daughter duo strut their stuff up the aisle to the ring while Stern impatiently checks his watch and talks to the control room on a walkie-talkie.
While everyone is getting into position, Stern hurriedly reviews the rules which are the same as for wrestling with a notable exception: "When a mother or daughter is tagged in by their partner, the other team MUST tag in the corresponding team member within thirty seconds. The fans don't want to see a mismatch with you young women beating up some old bag. You fail to tag in your partner and you forfeit the fall. Understood?"
Everyone nods and Stern clears out so Brooke Shields
can call for the bell which she does as soon as Gerda and Mina
are out of the ring. Stern made it a condition that Charlize and
Cat had to start so he could assure the PPV fans they'd get to
see them in action at least one more time.
The two actresses don't disappoint anyone, tearing into each other
like a couple of angry badgers. Charlize scores early, catching
Cat by surprise by slamming her knee *low* into Cat's belly when
they start to lock up mid-ring; then smashing her across the back
of the shoulders with an ax-handle that drops the tall brunette
to her knees, open-mouthed and gasping. The blonde's supportive
fans start to encourage the plucky actress and Gerda, standing
on the ring apron, starts leading their rhythmic clapping.
Charlize has a little grin on her face as she hauls Cat to her feet and knees her in the belly again. Cat doubles over, her knees wobble and she almost falls again. Theron grabs Cat's left arm at the wrist and twists it, forcing the Cat up onto her toes as she strains to ease the pain in her elbow and shoulder. Charlize gives the arm another turn and Cat moans in pain as Charlize grin spreads a bit wider. Charlize pulls Cat toward her, then whips her around into the corner where Gerda waits with her knee jutted out between the ropes at the turnbuckle.
Cat's back slams into the turnbuckle - and Gerda's knee - and the busty brunette cries out and clutches her back as she drops to her knees and then bends forward on one hand as the other tries to ease the shooting pains in her lower back. Charlize takes Cat under the armpits and heaves her up into the corner where Gerda surreptitiously grabs the waist of her bikini bottom to hold her in position as Charlize drives her fist into Cat's bulging bra!
"How do YOU like it, bitch?" Gerda hisses. "Hurts don't it!"
Cat grunts in pain as her massive mammary is flattened against her breastbone by the power of the blondes fist. Charlize steps back and punches Cat again, this time in her belly which is getting red from the battering by knees and fists. Charlize stands in front of Cat, grabs her by the hair with both hands. She jumps into the air, slams both feet into Cat's stomach and then drops to the mat on her back, monkey flipping the brunette over her body. Cat crashes to the mat flat on her back halfway across the ring, bounces once, rolls over and lays on her belly.
Cat's mother Mina is standing on the bottom strand of the ropes, leaning over the top rope into the ring, straining, her arm reaching out to Cat screaming, "Get over here. Tag me!"
Cat gets to her knees and starts crawling toward Mina, her right arm raised to make the tag. Before she can make the tag, Charlize comes running up behind Cat, grabs her by the hair and pulls her over backward. Charlize stomps on Cat's belly and her body reacts! Her head and shoulders jerk upward as do her knees, then she collapses back down on her back holding her stomach in both hands. Charlize again drags Cat up by her arm, gives it a twist and then whips the brunette toward Gerda's corner again.
As Cat gets whipped around, she grabs Charlize' wrist and instead of being thrown into the Theron corner, it's Cat who whips Charlize into the side ropes. When Charlize rebounds off the ropes, she throws up her right arm to clothesline Cat so she can regain the initiative. But Cat ducks under the blondes upraised arm and throws her elbow into Charlize breast. Charlize is knocked flat on her back, screaming in agony and clutching her tender, bruised and brutalized breast.
Cat leaps into the air and drops her heavy leg down across Charlize' chest, bringing another agonized moan from the gasping blonde as her feet spasmodically jerk up in an involuntary reaction to the pain in her bosom. Cat rolls over, grabs a handful of Charlize' blonde hair and drags the kicking, screaming woman over to the corner where Mina is waiting and clapping her hands eagerly. Cat pulls Charlize to her feet, plants her hand on her chest and slams her back into the corner where Mina easily captures her arms and forces them backward, pulling them over the top rope and holding them there. Cat licks her lips as she clenches her fists and starts in to work over Charlize' long, lean, exposed and vulnerable torso!
SPLAT!
THUMP!
WHAP!
SMACK!
Cat's fists flash outward, pounding Charlize tender breasts flat as the trapped blondes feet mindlessly move up/down, up/down as if running in place. Charlize is weeping, blubbering at the awful breast pain as Cat's heavy hands beat a tattoo on her chest. Then, Charlize' body slumps in the corner and her head tilts forward with tears streaming down her cheeks. Cat brutally drives her foot upward between the blondes slack legs, lifting her butt up from its seat on the middle strand of ropes. Mina has all she can do to hold Charlize up, for her body is dead weight as she's barely semi-conscious after the beating.
Mina says something to Cat and her daughter nods. Mina releases her grasp on Charlize and Cat drags the beaten blonde out of the corner, runs her halfway across the ring and hip-tosses her the rest of the way into her corner where Charlize' mother is watching her daughter's brutalization with open-mouthed and wide-eyed stunned shock.
"There's your girl," Cat tells Gerda. "Tag her and come in to face my mother if you aren't afraid of her!"
Gerda glares at Cat a moment, then she kneels and reaches through the ropes to touch her dazed daughters limp hand. With an angry, guttural growl, the mature blonde South African bends down and steps through the ropes. Cat closes the distance between them in a flash and kicks Gerda in the belly while she's still bent over and only halfway through the ropes. With one foot in the ring and the other still on the apron, she gags and almost falls backward into the first row of fans.
Cat reaches over the top rope and, with two handfuls of Gerda's gray hair, pulls the wheezing old woman over the top rope and flips her upside down. With one foot trapped in the ropes, Gerda dangles upside down with her other leg sticking straight up in the air. Cat pounds her fists into Gerda's belly twice, then twists her foot free of the ropes and lets her body drop to the canvas with a loud THUD!
Referee Brooke Shields reminds Cat she has to tag her mother within thirty seconds, but Cat shoves her away and tells her, "Keep out of this if you don't want the same!"
She drops her knee into Gerda's soft belly and the impact is greeted with a loud WHOOOF as the breath is knocked out of Charlize' mother. Cat drags Gerda to the middle of the ring, then with a sharp stare at the nervous Brooke, she tags her mother. Mina lunges through the ropes and dives on Gerda, pounding her forearm into side of the gray-haired woman's jaw. Gerda's body shivers and goes limp!
Mina picks up Gerda's feet by the ankles and drags her into the corner where Cat is standing and watching her mother with a look of pride. Mina struggles to get Gerda up, but she eventually does get her upright enough to shove her butt between the ropes and sit her in the corner where Cat can reach over the top ropes to hold her arms back. Like her daughter, Mina goes to work on Gerda's big, soft body with her fists, pounding her breasts and belly with a mindless fury; taking out an entire evening's worth of frustration in a few brutal minutes of punishment.
With Gerda incapable of offering any resistance, Mina tells Cat to let her arms go. Cat holds Gerda in the corner by the hair while Mina pulls the shoulder straps of Gerda's suit down her arms, peeling it down to her waist and baring her pale, soft, shapeless breasts to hoots and jeers from the crowd as Stern looks on with undisguised disgust, wishing that the situation were reversed and it was Mina's big boobs being bared instead of Gerda's.
Across the ring, Charlize has caught her breath and
when she sees her mother being stripped, she screams at Cat, begging
her not to do it. When Mina and Cat just laugh at her, Charlize
painfully struggles into the ring to try to put a stop to the
degradation of her mother herself. Brooke steps in front of her
with her arms raised, but it's Cat who stops Charlize, running
across the ring and diving over Brooke's back to leap on Charlize.
They go tumbling to the mat and Brooke is knocked to one side.
Mina has thrown Gerda to the mat and wrapped her legs around the
waist of the red-faced and struggling younger 'old woman.' She's
trying to get her arms around Gerda's neck to finish her off.
Brooke ignores Gerda's peril and goes to Cat and
Charlize, pulling them apart and shoving Charlize toward her corner
as she tries to drag Cat back to her corner where Gerda's struggling
has slowed as Mina has succeeded in locking in the choke hold
on the rapidly fading woman. Charlize continues to scream and
plead, begging Cat and Mina to let Gerda go. Suddenly, Cat pushes
Brooke aside and goes back to Charlize. She grabs the trembling
blonde and speaks sternly to her, shaking her finger in the blonde's
red face as she tells her something.
Charlize shakes her head, 'no' so Cat turns away and goes back to Mina, telling her, "Strip the bitch and let the world have a good look at her sorry ol' ass."
Mina eases up on the choke hold and instead goes to work pulling and tugging at her suit. Charlize leaps into the ring and struggles with Brooke, trying to get at Mina to stop her.
When Charlize realizes she can't break free of Brooke's grasp, she begins to cry and yells to Cat, "OK! You win. I concede the match."
Cat breaks into a broad grin and steps back up to Charlize to tell her something. As they talk, Stern runs to the ring with a microphone.
"Everything I said?" Cat asks Charlize.
"Yes, alright. All of it," Charlize sighs and her body slumps in defeat as a deep red blush spreads from her face and covers her entire upper torso.
Cat laughs as she walks over to Mina, slaps her mother on the back and tells her, "Let the bitch up. It's over!"
Mina kicks Gerda in the ribs and the gray-headed
woman rolls over with her arms clasped over her bare bosom, gasping
and sucking air into her burning and oxygen-deprived lungs.
****
Stern makes the official announcement, "Charlize
and Gerda Theron have submitted in this match. The winner of the
tag team fight, and the match, Catherine "the Cat" Bell
and her mother Mina!"
Cat and Mina strut the ring, holding their hands clasped together over their heads as they soak up the cheers of the crowd. As they pass Charlize kneeling with Gerda, helping her to sit up and pulling up her suit top, Cat leans over, pats Charlize on the back and says something. Charlize shakes her head adamantly and then turns her back. Cat grabs Charlize by the back of the hair and jerks her head backward as Mina jumps on Gerda and pins her to the mat. Charlize screams as Cat grabs her aching left breast and squeezes.
"Alright! I'll do it! STOP!"
Cat throws Charlize face down on the mat beside Gerda, then she steps on her beautiful, round, butt, walking all over her in a symbolic gesture as she goes over to Stern to be interviewed. Charlize lays sobbing on the mat with Gerda as Mina stands over them with her hands on her hips and a cruel sneer on her full, sensuous lips.
While that little drama was playing out, Stern called
all six of the referees back to the ring for another round of
applause from the appreciative audience. Terry Farrell went over
to hug Cat and give her a congratulatory kiss while Lisa Nicole
Carson just walked over and spat on Charlize, then she left the
ring without waiting for the other referees.
****
STERN'S POST-FIGHT INTERVIEWS:
Stern: So, Cat, that was a great series of fights.
I have to hand it to you, you're one tough lady. How do you feel
after all that action, you look marvelous!
Bell: Thanks Howard. It was a hard-fought bunch of fights, but I think anyone who watched it objectively would see I beat her in all fight fights. No question about it! I'm surprised you and your judges have the guts to stand here and face me after the way you cheated me out of what should have been a cakewalk.
Stern: Oh, don't be like that Cat. That blonde put up a spirited fight, although everybody knows it's not the fight in the dog but the size of the bra that determines the winners in these events. I hope I'll see you in an hour or so at the awards ceremony. You've got a sizable check coming to you for your charity.
Bell: Oh, don't worry. I'll be there for sure. I'm
going to make sure that check gets to the people who need it most.
****
Cat spun on her heel and stomped away, pausing only
to give Charlize a finger-wagging admonition about something before
taking Mina's hand and, together, the buxom mother-daughter duo
strutted up the aisle to their dressing room to get changed for
their victory party. Stern rolled his eyes as he went over to
Charlize to try to interview her after a devastating and disappointing
defeat.
****
Stern: Great performance Charlize. I really felt
for you out there. You put up a terrific struggle and you've nothing
to be ashamed of. Somebody had to lose after all.
Theron: (pouting) Yeah, well, whatever. It's horrible to lose after coming so close to winning. Most of all, I'm heartbroken for the poor little children of South Africa. That prize money would have done a world of good for them. I'm devastated. Really.
Stern: Well, you gave up in that tag team. You could have fought on longer, maybe got lucky and pulled out a win.
Theron: (shaking her head slowly) No, I couldn't do that to mom. If it was me that would be different, but she didn't deserve to be stripped and humiliated like that. It was pretty low-down and mean of those Bells to do that to her. But I guess that's what you have to expect.
Stern: So you would have allowed yourself to be humiliated but not your mother?
Theron: I would have, yes. I'd have suffered any indignity if it meant helping those poor children. I....I...just can't talk any more. I'm sorry.
Stern: One more question, please. I noticed after the match Cat said something to you. It almost looked like you two were still arguing about something. What was that all about?
Theron: Ummmm, I don't think I should talk about
it. Cat and I have to talk first. Maybe later..... sorry, Howard.
****
TWO HOURS LATER - STERN'S 'VICTORY PARTY' HELD
IN THE HOTEL BALLROOM:
A six piece band is playing and Stern is in his glory.
He's danced with his wife who has already gone home to take care
of their kids, leaving he and his 'crew' to party until the sun
comes up. The crowd of high-rolling listeners and wealthy celebrities
have had their Wolfgang Puck catered dinner and everyone is getting
eager for the awards ceremony when Stern presents the check to
the charity selected by Cat Bell, the NBAAAUA ("...or whatever
it's called," Stern mutters.)
Just then the room falls silent as Cat Bell walks through the doors into the large, high-ceiling ball room. It's not only the sight of this exquisitely beautiful exotic woman that has stilled their wagging tongues, but also the identify of Cat's companion. Walking ahead of Cat, at the end of a black leather leash attached to a studded slave collar, is a downcast and despondent looking Charlize Theron!!
Despite heavy make-up, Charlize face shows the wear
and tear of her hard-fought battles with Cat who, on the other
hand, looks as fresh as she did when the evening started. Cat
struts to the stage leading Charlize, then gives her 'slave' a
sharp spank to get her to go up the steps onto the stage. Red-faced,
Charlize obediently climbs the steps and stands, behind Cat and
well out of the pictures the press is taking, as Cat and Stern
pose with the large prop check.
When the photo-op is concluded, Cat steps to the microphone after Stern introduces her and gives a warm speech about how important this event was and how eager she is to attend the next one, "...as a spectator only!" The remark brings a hearty chuckle from the fans who have watched the rough matches. Then Cat drops a bombshell!
"We all know how important the charities we chose to represent are to each of us. After some reflection, Charlize and I have agreed to split this check EQUALLY between her charity and mine. Not only is it the right thing to do, but since the five events were 'officially declared' to have been tied, it seems the correct thing to do as well. I know Charlize would want to join me in thanking Howard Stern for his generosity. I speak for her when I say this money will help the poor children in the underdeveloped areas of South Africa as it will the poor, underdeveloped women of Southern California. And now, if you'll excuse us, Charlize and I have some unfinished business. Thank you all and good night."
With a sharp tug on her leash, Cat leads Charlize off the stage and out of the ballroom to the elevator. On the way out, Cat pointedly ignores shouted questions like, "Where's your mother Cat?" "Where's Charlize' mother?" "Are they together?" "Does Gerda also have a collar?"
These questions, like so many others, will have to be answered at a later date....if ever...This is the conclusion of the 2001 Howard Stern Invitational Tournament. But if you'd like to see what happened at the 2002 Tournament, follow the link BELOW
|