Recently, many celebrities have been offering their services for fundraising activities to help a favorite charity. One of the more unusual ideas was put forth by radio personality and 'shock jock' Howard Stern on his nationally syndicated radio show. He wanted to have two "hot young actresses" fight each other on a pay-per-view telecast with the proceeds going to the winners charity. To sweeten the pot he guaranteed the charity 'at least' 2 million dollars.

Despite his generous guarantee, actresses weren't falling all over themselves to fight for him, especially after hearing the misogynistic rants on his talk show. It took a lot of behind the scenes negotiating to finally get it done and many of the final details were never made public. But eventually, two women were signed; two women who had become bitter rivals during a tough series of boxing matches between them in the Female Celebrity Boxing Association.

Catherine "Cat" Bell, the 33 year old British-born star of the CBS Television show, 'JAG' in which she plays a Marine Corps lawyer, and Charlize Theron, a 26 year old South African actress who achieved stardom in '2 Days in the Valley' and has appeared in over 20 top motion pictures. Each knocked out the other in celebrity boxing matches, adding fuel to the 'TV actress vs. movie star' rivalry.

No fool, Stern had to pay a lot of money to get the two young women signed, so he committed to a massive promotional effort to lure enough viewers to cover his 'nut.' Although the women and their agents haggled and argued over match conditions, costumes, events, etc., Stern finally got agreement on the things he needed to sell the event as a PPV. It would consist of five separate fights with a half hour break between each during which top name entertainers would keep the viewers attention from wandering. The winner would be the first to win three fights.

To determine the type of fight, each actresses would submit three different types of fights which he put on cards in sealed envelopes. Before the first fight, a coin flip determined who drew the envelope for the first fight. The loser of the flip would draw before the second fight, etc. Since both were accomplished boxers, Stern specified they had to submit different types of fights so the viewers got their money's worth. Stern also put three envelopes in the draw, making a total of nine types of fights. If Cat and Charlize submitted identical items, he ensured variety by mandating (after sweetening the pot with more money) there could be no duplicate events. Even if the contest ended with the one woman winning the first three in a row, fans would at least see three different fights and if it went the distance, there would be five different fights.

Stern told viewers that not only would the winner of the Invitational be considered the best fighter in Hollywood, he also assured them with a leer, that since he was picking their costumes, "You won't be disappointed."

The two women were backstage preparing for the first fight as a star-studded celebrity crowd was taking their seats. Stern played taped interviews with the women on a giant screen above a ring set up on a movie sound stage converted into an arena for the night. Charlize tape was first and she appeared in a white off the shoulder, mini-dress that displayed her gorgeous gams. She was accompanied by her mother, Gerda as she told Stern about the charity she was fighting for.

"Howard, I've given this a lot of thought. As you can imagine, not only are there hundreds of worthy charities but many of them have contacted us and asked for our help. Certainly the Red Cross and the American Cancer Society need everyone's support. I also considered UNESCO, the United Nations charity, but the one I've chosen is my absolutely favorite, the South African Children's Charity Project. It's a worthy cause I hope it will inspire me to do my best against a very tough, veteran fighter in Cat. God bless the children!"

For her part, Catherine "Cat" Bell was even more glamorously attired. Mina, Cat's mother, hovered just out of camera range, refusing to steal any of the limelight from her daughter. Cat was wearing a hot red dress cut so low in back that the crack of her butt showed and so low in front it left little to the lurid imagination of Stern's lustful fans. She lived up to her "Cat" nickname when Stern asked her what charity she was going to donate her winnings to, "…if you're victorious."

"Well first, Howard I WILL win, there's no question. As for a charity, I was really undecided about which of several deserving charities to dedicate myself to this evening. But after seeing Charlize' interview, it's obvious. There's one charity that's been overlooked in the understandable rush to donate to worthy organizations. Many so-called 'regular' charities are hurting for money with all the attention focused on terror-related ones, so I'm giving my winnings to one that's always been close to my heart."

Cat puts her hand on her breast as she lowers her eyes for dramatic effect, then continues, "The NBAAAUA is doing a lot of really outstanding work with disadvantaged young women and I think they deserve support. My mother and I have discussed it and we feel this is the right charity to be supporting with an event like this. I'm sure Charlize will agree it's needed and who knows, maybe someday she may need their service as so many others have in the past."

Stern looks puzzled and he's seen looking off camera and mouthing the words, "Anybody have a clue?" After a short pause, he finally shakes his head, looks back at Cat and asks, "OK, I'll bite. What, exactly, is the NBAAUA? Some kind of support group for ex-jocks?"

Cat's eyes flash as she takes the microphone to speak directly into the camera. "It's NBAAAUA, Howard. Three A's, not two. It stands for the National Breast Augmentation And Actress Uplift Association. They do wonderful things for young women who've been cruelly and undeservedly under-endowed by nature. Many women are being denied lucrative roles in movies and television because they lack that certain something. A group of dedicated professionals takes promising young actresses, like Charlize Theron for instance, and provides that missing ingredient.

"This charity has enabled girls and women from all strata of society and socioeconomic classes to become productive, earning workers in career fields like dancers, waitresses, singers and even actresses. I just pray that when Theron's lackluster movie career mercifully comes to its deserved early end and she's reduced to doing TV roles, that the NBAAAUA will be there for her and thousands like her."

Cat's image fades from the screen to be replaced by a live shot of Stern backstage surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women, each wearing skintight black shorts and a striped referee's shirt tied under her breasts. He introduces them in turn, giving the audience plenty of time to ogle their figures as the camera slowly pans up and down each one's body.

"These are the referee's for tonight's fights," Stern says. "Starting from the left, Gena Lee Nolin, Jenna Jameson, Terry Farrell, Lisa Nicole Carson, Jenny McCarthy and a substitute referee just in case, Brooke Shields."

The crowd erupts in screams, whistles and foot-stomping as the six women parade down the aisle to the ring for the ceremonial coin flip and drawing of the first envelope to determine what the first event will be. When everyone was in the ring, Howard introduced the participants.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the first of the two beautiful ladies in this evening's extravaganza. She hails from Benoni, South Africa but now lives in Hollywood. She's 26 years old, stands 5' 9" and weighs in at a firm, toned and tight, 123 pounds. She's the star of more than twenty major motion pictures and the object of over 50 Internet web sites. Accompanied to the ring by her second, her mother Gerda, lemme hear you give it up for Charlize Theron!"

Loud applause and wolf whistles echo through the cavernous studio set as the willowy blond slowly paces to the ring beside her almost equally tall mother, Gerda, who is her second tonight. Of course, both women also have professional 'cut men' and there's a first aid staff to treat injuries. Hopefully neither will be injured so badly she can't continue but in the event one or the other must withdraw, her opponent's charity will get the full prize.

"Our other participant was born in London, England, but she too lives in Hollywood now. At an impressive 5' 11" and weighing in at a solid 132 pounds, she's the star of the 'JAG' television series, has appeared in three or four forgettable movies and she only has about 20 Internet web sites dedicated to her. Let's hear a big welcome for Catherine "Cat" Bell!"

Cat came to the ring still wearing that same scintillating red dress, every swell and curve of her luscious body undulating sensuously as she slowly pranced to the ring. Like Charlize, Cat was attended by her mother, Mina who, like her daughter, is rather buxom. A dark-haired Iranian, Mina is several years older than Gerda Theron but her body looks fit, great in fact, for a woman her age. Clearly, both Charlize and Cat got their great looks from their mothers.

The two contestants paced slowly back and forth on opposite sides of the ring while Stern drones on about the rules, etc., etc. Finally, he gets to the point of the whole show. Taking out a silver dollar he shows it to both women and asks Bell to call it. She shakes her head says, "Let HER call it so she won't have any excuses after she loses."

Charlize tells Gerda to call it and she calls heads. It comes up heads, giving Charlize first draw. She fishes around in the bowl, pulls out an envelope and hands it to Stern.

He opens it and reads, "10 rounds of boxing, 10oz. gloves."

Cat Bell has a big grin on her face while Charlize looks shocked. It seems the small gloves boxing was one of Cat's cards. The audience is buzzing for they're going to see a good fight right off the bat. Not only that, but whoever wins the fight may well set the tone for the evening. A KO or a sound thrashing could leave the loser too weakened to win the next fight no matter what kind it is.

The women go to their dressing rooms to change into the outfits Stern chose for boxing and he announces that while they change there will be a short show from Beyonce Knowles and Destiny's Child. The audience whoops and hollers as a stage rotates into view from the side of the studio with a band and the featured singers. They put on a spectacular show for about 20 minutes until Stern reappears to introduce the first match and get the fighting started.

Fight One (boxing w/referee Gena Lee Nolin)
Fight Two (wrestling w/referee Jenna Jameson)
Fight Three (lingerie strip catfight w/referee Terry Farrell)
Fight Four (topless oil wrestling w/referee Lisa Nicole Carson)
Fight Five (street fight w/referee Jenny McCarthy)
Conclusion and victory party!